Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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