She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
