you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
