I should be sponsored by Trojan
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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