Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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