I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
