Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
