According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize