And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
