Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
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