dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
