so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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