They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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