hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Randomize
