I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
