Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
