Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
