God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Come back. Shots need mouths.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
