so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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