My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
