I wanna bring you to show and tell
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize