She's JV to your varsity
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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