we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
