oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
