Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
