just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
