if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
