I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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