It's Friday. Sex?
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
