In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
i think i have two assholes
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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