direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
