HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
