Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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