I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
