no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
