Kiss
Puke
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
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