spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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