I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
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