why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
