Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Randomize
