you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
