Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
