Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize