So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Randomize
