so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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