Non-Jews are for practice
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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