Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
