she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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