when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
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