put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Randomize
