and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
