my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
