My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
