What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Randomize
