States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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