We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
