I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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