We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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