yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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