before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
