It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
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