it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize