Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize