I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Randomize
