i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
